Title: Anger And The Christian_1
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Anger is defined as a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility towards someone or something and the one that is showing anger is said to be angry. Whereas to be annoyed will mean to be irritated, displeasure will imply that the act does not receive the approval of the one that is angry possibly because it falls short of expectation in one way or the other. Of course both triggers of anger as stated above may produce an unfriendly act or an act of dislike on the part of the one that is angry which can be classed as being hostile, towards the originator of that act.
From the above definition, it can be noted that anger is a negative consequence of the action of someone, man or animal or the negative effect of something on the one that is angry. One may also be angry with oneself though, if the action was generated by self. This could be an error of judgement that produces some kind of negative effect on self. The bottom line is that there must be an action that will trigger anger as it is not possible to be angry at nothing.
Most times the action triggers anger because it either falls short of expected standard or creates one form of hurt or the other – physical, emotional or psychological. The falling short of expectation may lead to one form of loss or the other which may be the actual effect that triggers the anger. The loss could be emotional, financial, social, etc., but is sufficient to create unbearable hurt in the one that is angry. There may therefore be no anger if the action that triggers anger does not in any way hurt or create a loss in the one that is angry. It can thus the concluded that the one that is angry has been affected by the action of someone, human or animal and that has created some form of hurt or loss. Wherever there is anger, there must be a negative action and a victim of the action, who should have experienced some form of hurt or loss.
From all the above, it will be impossible for anyone to deny that he or she has ever been or can ever be angry. Every living thing feels and for as long as the five senses (seeing, hearing, smelling, sensing and tasting) are functional, the chances of been angry remain very high. These are the gates to the feelings of any living thing and one will only be able to effectively avoid anger in any living thing if all these five senses are not functional, but then no one can be regarded as living if at least one of those senses is not functional. Only a non-living thing is not prone to being angry.
Obvious from all the above is that the act of getting angry would not be a crime as it remains an expected reaction of any living thing since all living things consciously or unconsciously set standards which once violated has the potential to trigger anger. Why then is anger viewed negatively since no living thing can boast of never being angry or can promise never to be angry? It is because of what is done by the angry one when anger arrives. Most times lasting damages are perpetuated by the one that is angry and which are eventually regretted when anger has subsided. The average living thing is expected to manage those periods of anger very well such that it does not create further hurt, either to the one that is angry or the things, living and not living, around such a person.
The one that can claim not to ever get angry, is the one that has successfully managed anger, because the first level of anger management is not to get angry at all. This involves the ability of the potentially angry person to manage all the various triggers of anger in such a manner that they do not get to the point of producing the anger reaction. One of such is to reduce the expectation from living things, human or animal and properly handling non living things in a manner that will not pose any form of danger. Managing anger that results from expectation of perfection from living things should be easy if the one that is having high expectations can accept that he/she does fall short of expectations too, either of personal standards or in relating with others. Once the one that is having high expectations cannot claim perfection, then it becomes irrational for such to make such demands from other living beings. One who claims he/she never disappoints is already on the path to being angry as he/she will soon fall short of personal standards. It is simply impossible for living beings to be perfect in all ways and at all times, as even robots that have been programmed for perfection still fail. Expect error from all activities and have a fall back plan for all plans, in expectation of error from not just others but also yourself and you will be on the path to avoiding anger completely. Not to expect perfection can sometimes be viewed as not trusting but really that is what it is. Do not trust that you cannot be disappointed or hurt you but be in a position to trust all that are around you not to deliberately disappoint or hurt you. This will definitely prevent you from getting to the anger level in your reactions.
Like everything human, it is simply impossible to promise to manage situations such that one can eliminate expectations. It is simply not human, not to place some level of expectation on people and when such people fail to meet such expectations, it may be impossible to promise that as living beings, we will never be disappointed to the point of getting angry. It may be true that the trigger level of each individual when it comes to anger varies but be assured that everyone has the potential to get angry so it may be equally important to prepare to manage anger when it eventually shows up rather than believing that one can never get angry.
Not accepting that one is prone to anger is one of the reasons why most people perform badly during anger periods. The first preparation for anger is to accept that one can be angry. That helps to prepare oneself with some guidelines on what to do and what not to do when anger eventually arrives. Some of the steps to quickly fall back on when anger arrives are as follows:
1. Recognise anger signs and accept that it is anger that has arrived. Denying that you are angry when indeed you are will only worsen the anger.
2. Beyond walking away from the trigger of anger, avoid any other form of action when anger arrives.
3. Beyond words of apologies, when necessary, avoid making any statement when anger arrives.
4. Remind yourself and accept the fact that you are an imperfect being just as you are not alone in the world, as around you are equally imperfect beings.
5. Do all you can to separate the cause of the anger from the action of anger.
6. Think of a way to mitigate or negate the action that triggered the anger.
7. Think of a solution to the hurt that the action that triggered anger caused.
8. See the entire process as one that improves you as a person and will help to guide your future actions.
Most of the above steps must be kept in memory at all times so that they can be easily deployed when required. Anger does not give any notice of arrival and lack of preparation for its arrival can have grave consequences.
This concludes the first part of this article. The article can be downloaded from our website: www.crossandcrownchristianministry.org.
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