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Title: Love And Discipline Part 2.
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
Hebrews 12:6 KJV
Everyone knows that every successful relationship, whether family or social thrives on both measures especially if the one who is to give Love also has the additional responsibility of bringing the best out of the love beneficiary. An example of this type of relationship is found in the bringing up of children by parents. Whereas the child expects and rightly so too, that all those “positive” aspects of the definition of love be showered on him/her, the part of love expressed by disciplining the child is never seen as such. This however is not unexpected, considering the age of the child. At that stage of life, every act of disciplining is considered an act of wickedness and it is with this background knowledge that the child goes into adulthood. Same scenario also plays out sometimes in the relationship between a recognized hard working staff and the boss or employer. In the determination to bring the best out of the staff and in recognition and appreciation of the contribution and potential of such a staff, sterner measures are applied for errors made in comparison to similar errors made by other staff members that sometimes take away all the accolades given for the good the staff was earlier recognized for. To such a boss, he/she is trying to bring the best out of the staff being a preferred and loved staff but for such a staff, there can be only one word to describe that act; wickedness and sometimes, envy and jealousy.
In situations similar to those presented above, the beneficiary of love will need to be rise above the sentiment that love entails only all those positive acts and see a higher level of demonstrating love through the application of acts of discipline. This is usually very difficult not only because it is painful but because it is very likely that such treatment given to him or her seems to be unique and not found amongst majority of the peers of such a person. Such style of demonstrating love is not common to most of his/her peers and the only way to describe it will be to see it as wickedness, envy or jealousy.
The love giver will need to spend good time providing information to the beneficiary of love, explaining why such can ever be a demonstration of love even though it does not in anyway imply that the beneficiary of such act will ever stop seeing him/her self as a victim of abuse. This may be the permanent position of the beneficiary of such acts through life but sometimes, there may be an opportunity to have a better understanding of the actions of the love giver.
What should be of importance to the love giver should be the sincerity of the intention for applying the “negative” acts of love, the manner of its administration and the measure of it. That is where the Holy Spirit comes in. This is because such measures despite the good intention associated with it can have both positive and negative effects even though the intention of the love giver is that it should produce positive effect. Unfortunately, there is not yet and one doubts if there will ever be a knowledge source that will provide information on when, how and how much of these disciplinary can be administered. This is because of the individual and environmental differences. What is however clear is that the aptness of the disciplinary measure will be seen in the result of the act on the love beneficiary. An improvement in the quality of such a beneficiary will imply that the acts were administered in good measure but a negative effect will definitely indicate that there was a lot wrong with the measures applied as it may have been too much of too little.
This is a very delicate balance that needs to be attained in order to sustain a relationship and it is definitely beyond the natural abilities of man. Lots of strained relationships today have their foundation in this area of the it evolution and in some cases it has rippled into situations that have indeed gone out of hand.
Everyone in a relationship will, at one stage or the other find themselves in the role of a love giver or love beneficiary and they will be expected to excel in those roles when they find themselves in it, especially in the role of a love giver. The following points need to be carefully noted in that latter role;
1. The wisdom of the Almighty will definitely be required to do the needful at each time they find themselves having to play that role.
2. The love beneficiary may not see the act as an act of love but the intention of the act must be achieved else it will render all the act useless.
3. The love giver should not expect that the act will be favorably accepted at the time of its been dispensed so as to avoid the frustration that accompanies reaction of the love beneficiary.
Whatever the case may be, individuals need to continue to act in love whether in the positive manner or in the not so positive manner and cannot allow themselves to be frustrated by the reaction that follows the wrong interpretation of their action. The Apostle Paul says such actions will be rewarded in due season.
May God endow us all with the wisdom to dispense our act of love in order to improve the lives of those around us in Jesus name. Amen